My Paper So Far...

Catherine Glass

Dr. Stiltner

April 17, 2012

Final Paper

Flirting Between a Rock and a Hard Place

            Why do people cheat? It’s a universal no-no, but still, it happens pretty frequently. Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky, John Edwards and Rielle Hunter, Tiger Woods and…ten other women. Since infidelity has been increasingly publicized, it’s only natural to think society would be more accepting. However, even though People magazine publishes a new affair every week, the American culture stands by the notion that extramarital relationships are taboo.

Evolutionary theorists suggest that men and women’s sexual attitudes are a product of their ancestral past. In a 1998 study, researchers found that male reproductive success was based on spreading genes to as many partners as possible. It was necessary to produce offspring – the more sex, the more strong and burly male descendants would be available to contribute to the tribe. On the opposite end of the spectrum, women wanted to ensure health and safety for their children. Female reproductive success was based on finding a partner that could provide resources for the family. Has this tradition travelled with us all these years later? When we see men with wives and girlfriends and young women with eighty-five year old wealthy husbands, can we credit our evolutionary drive?

More modern theory doesn’t buy the evolutionary philosophy. “A person's past sexual history, an individual's mate value (attractiveness), the degree of opportunity (time spent away from a spouse with other potential sexual partners), and a person's willingness to take risks all play an important role in infidelity.” This seems more believable. If you take an ordinary and extraordinary looking person, and the latter is used to having a lot of sex with a lot of opportunity, they are more likely to cheat on their spouse. Also, if they don’t have a lot invested in their relationship, what do they have to loose by cheating? To me, respect is the thin line between a healthy and hopeless relationship.

A psychology study done in 2001 claims that people who attend religious services on a frequent basis are both more likely to disapprove of extramarital affairs and less likely to engage in them. So, while this secular society holds so much animosity towards religion- we must admit that they do have some merit in their tradition. In 1989 Benson and Donahue CITE found that religious students were very unlikely to engage in infidelity and their faith was the main component for these students lack of engagement.  The Quran says “Take not for protectors your fathers and your brothers if they love Infidelity above Faith: if any of you do so, they do wrong.” The Catholic Church says, “Thou shalt not commit adultery.” Still, there are religious skeptics that don’t attribute faithfulness to scripture – they say there are outlying reasons. The faith, to them, is just a coincidence.

            Thomas Rees, and Op-ed columnist for Free Inquiry believes that regular church goers are less likely to cheat because they tend to be more family oriented. People who attend a religious service weekly do so with their family. Rees “suspects that there would be similar findings for those people who commit to secular activities.” At first glance Rees opinion seems farfetched. The reason for fidelity isn’t due to attendance; they it is due to beliefs. However, people who feel they are “close to God but don’t go to a religious service” are 25% more likely to cheat. Faith doesn’t reduce infidelity, going to service does. (Thomas Rees Blog)