Analyzing Infidelity

In the magazine Psychology Today, there is an entire section titled: "Infidelity: Who Cheats, and Why?". To me, this point in itself proves that the mass occurrences of extramarital relationships are becoming an epidemic. I chose the article "Are You Tempted By Adultery Even Though You Think It's Wrong." In this Op.Ed. piece, Dr. Mark White investigates the moral philosophy of cheating as well as the thoughts of all parties involved. Looking at adultery through the eyes of famous philosopher Immanuel Kant, "although we are rational beings, we are also physical beings; essentially, we are beasts who are aware we are beasts, and have the power to control our desires and inclinations, a power which is called autonomy." We as beasts have temptations. We as rationalists have the power to resist. Conclusively, Dr. White says that infidelity is a matter of affect or passion. Affect is when a person resists the temptation using avoidance (staying away from temptress) or reinforcement (calls significant other more times per day). Passion is when a person realized that their judgment has been negatively influenced. By becoming aware of this, the person's thoughts will slowly lessen. 

Why People Cheat

Why People Cheat: Dr. Nigel Barber


Dr. Barber begins his article by saying that "cheating is a fact of life." Looking at the parasite resistance theory, infidelity is explained through animal research. Female animals tend to pick males who have the strength to fight off disease. Socially, in places where disease is prevalent, attractiveness is more important and promiscuity is more accepted. This suggests that "one motive for infidelity is to acquire better immunity for their children." To me, and I'm assuming many, this theory is distorted. Infidelity, in no way shape or form, prevents disease. If anything, having many sexual partners spreads STI's and STD's. 


Evolutionarily speaking, men want to procreate and create as much offspring as possible. Dr. Barber says that men are interested in, "the desire for sexual variety, and attraction to younger, more fertile, women" This is a case for male opportunity to reproduce and the boredom of having one long term partner.

Nicholas Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn: Social Entrepreneurs Surfacing the True Injustice Behind Oppression of Women

I am an American female college student. I have aspirations to a professional career and reasonable prospects for a secure future. My status as an equal citizen is legally protected and, as a person, I feel I am valued by my society. I do not count myself as being disadvantaged just because I was born a woman. This is not the case, however, for millions of women in countries and cultures that exploit and abuse women, condone rape and violence against them, and deny them basic civil rights.  Nicholas Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn tackle the oppression of women around the world in their seminal book, Half the Sky. This title comes from the Chinese proverb that women hold up “half the sky,” and so conveys the book’s thesis: we should remember women are half of our population and that empowering them releases tremendous untapped resources for economic and social progress. 

Kristof and WuDunn

 In 1990, soon after covering the Tiananmen Square protests, spouses Nicholas Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn learned that 39,000 baby girls are killed in China each year because they are denied the same amount of food and healthcare as their male counterparts. A number of years later, while writing a piece on child prostitution, Nicholas Kristof spoke to two Cambodian girls who were sold into brothels (one by her stepfather, the other kidnapped). Their mothers had come and gone, having no money to buy them back. They were sexually coerced and beaten daily.  Kristof was dismayed to see that, even as young as they were, there was no hope in their eyes. He was deeply moved and, with his wife, resolved to bring attention to the oppression of women around the world.  Sheryl WuDunn, a Pulitzer Prize winning journalist herself, was eager to begin writing. Her own Chinese Grandmother had her feet bound to make them small. This was a painful process done in China that involved breaking a woman’s foot and forcing the toes to curl under and bind to the sole. The more perfectly a women’s foot was bound, the more eminent a wife she would be. (Chinese Foot Binding) WuDunn was a success story in herself, and wanted other women to have the opportunity to succeed as she did.

While Nicholas Kristof did not have the same family history as his wife, his previous journalism experiences left him with an obligation to heighten awareness. Their book, published in 2009, a national best seller, describes instances of sex trafficking, gender based violence, maternal morbidity, honor killings and mass rape—all bound by the central theme of gender inequality. Just as slavery and totalitarianism were core human rights problems in the past, the oppression of women today is a moral wrong and demands the world’s attention. Attention is exactly what the authors got. Little did either writer know, they would do much more than sell books—they would become social entrepreneurs. What I mean by this is that Kristof and WuDunn became spokesmen for the oppression of women. Their resume included personal experiences, empirical data, and an agenda for change. They were a triple threat – on a mission to put these issues in the public’s face – making awareness impossible to ignore.

Melinda Gates states, “The stories that Kristof and WuDunn share are as powerful as they are heartbreaking.” (Melinda Gates on Half the Sky) The authors describe the scope of the problem as follows: “More girls were killed in the last 50 years, precisely because they were girls, than men killed in all the wars in the 20th century. More girls are killed in this routine gendercide in any one decade than people were slaughtered in all the genocides of the 20th century.” (Half the Sky, Intro)  This loaded statement isn’t a superficial attempt to get the reader’s attention, it is the bare facts – and the facts are enough to blow anyone’s mind. Speaking to individual circumstances, one of the stories in Half the Sky is about a Pakistani woman who refused to have an arranged marriage. When her brothers found out about this, “they bickered over whether they should kill her or just sell her to a brothel.” (Half the Sky, p.150) Just from these few quotes, we can see Kristof and WuDunn’s brilliance of combining data and anecdotes. Although the statistics of women’s oppression sells the message on it’s own, the authors appeal to pathos through story-telling, bringing us into the world of a suffering woman – after all, that is what inspired the journalists themselves to begin writing.

Moreover is the point that if we empower these women, not only will they be valued, they are likely to go on and create businesses. Hence the subtitle of the book, “Turning Oppression Into Opportunity.” When a woman is given the chance to be educated, and goes on to get a loan, research shows that that investment will produce higher returns than the same investment with her male counterpart. With scarce resources, females invest money more wisely than men.  Further, in a world where billions are being spent on security, experts say the best way to fight terrorism is to invest in girls. (Sheryl WuDunn on Colbert) This investment, the journalists claim, begins with education. Education not only improves intelligence, it teaches self-worth. Also, Kristof and WuDunn claim, “Microfinance has done more to bolster the status of women, and to protect them from abuse, than any laws could accomplish. Capitalism, it turns out, can achieve what charity and good intentions sometimes cannot. (Half the Sky, p. 187) If we can’t fiscally support these women, helping them fight for the opportunity to succeed may be enough.

 The combination of Kristof and WuDunn’s individual strengths makes the message of the book all the more powerful; it also models the creative collaboration that they say will improve the lives of women. Nicholas Kristof is an Op-Ed writer who focuses on societal injustices. One of Kristof’s intellectual influences is Victor Zorza, a journalist for The Guardian who is respected for his narrative-like writings on the Soviet Union. (Victor Zorza) Zorza has inspired Kristof with his anecdotal writing—which happens to be the writing style used in Half the Sky. Kristof at his best is a storyteller. His individual vignettes of oppressed woman, and stories of triumph over adversity bring an empathetic tone to Half the Sky.  He exposes the issues through individual narratives. After doing research, Nicholas Kristof said, “It turns out that empathy and moral judgments are an emotional process, not a rational one. They're based on storytelling, and people want to be a part of something positive, not something depressing and failed.” (Interview with Kristof and WuDunn on Book) Sheryl Wudunn writes about female entrepreneurs and was a journalist for the New York Times. Her contribution to the partnership was to bear the facts and figures, the statistics and a sense of relatability, being a third generation Chinese American female. WuDunn’s hefty economic background introduces hopeful data suggesting that we can turn both the lives of women and the global economy around.

Half the Sky

The book is not merely an expose of oppression in the developing world, but a call to action. Kristof and WuDunn use staggering statistics of oppression and boldly equate female injustice to slavery and totalitarianism. While they speak of creating female economic entrepreneurs, they themselves have become social entrepreneurs; sharing with us how we can invest in their enterprise. They call upon us to become involved, going so far as to provide links to donation sites, and creating their own website titled: http://www.halftheskymovement.org/.  Here is where you and I can directly contribute to the cause. With over fifteen charities listed, the general public is able to donate at the click of a button. And for those who are not in the position to give money, there are tabs to Facebook, Twitter, and Tumblr. Social media has become a major portal for information. By advocating for help on these social media websites, the cause can become widespread, just as it has happened with movements like Kony 2012.

However, asking Americans to help these invisible women overseas has, undoubtedly, brought controversy. While we live in a secular nation, much of the world relies heavily on religion. When there is a divide in fundamental beliefs, people are less inclined to join together. Kristof and WuDunn claim that if the two can come together and fight against oppression, we would be “emulating an era when liberal deists and conservative evangelicals joined forces to overthrow slavery.” (Changing Lives, NY Times Article) According to the couple, helping oppressed women must be a universal effort. It is not something that can be done by one person, one group, or one nation. However, when there are so many different views on the world, there will be different views on the process of change. Will we help the women by building places of faith? Will we help by investing in job creation? A rift in belief systems is a very possible problem and Kristof and WuDunn don’t have a plan of action.  

Another charge was that Kristof and WuDunn “prize pragmatism over an analysis of power, simple stories over complex narratives, and motivating an ‘every women’ reader over pointing out hypocrisies, inconsistencies, and challenges of Western based activism for global uplift.” (Equal Writes Book Review) While using narratives appeals to the reader, it is fair to say that it shows more of a simplistic example. Kristof and WuDunn should have given just as much attention to the statistics for success just as they did for oppression. It can be criticized that they relied too heavily on data regarding the negative aspects and relied too heavily on anecdotes for the positive aspects. Another point is that foreign activism can only go so far. This limitation seems to be over looked in Half the Sky. It is even argued that foreign activism can be counterproductive. If someone’s home country isn’t devoted to righting a moral wrong, the process will not get anywhere, and governments will become angry at foreign nations for trying to impose change.

Still, Kristof and WuDunn fight back to say that empowering and educating women is universally beneficial. By helping women, we are helping the global economy. The journalists will not be satisfied with Americans putting on a T-shirt reading “Women’s Equality” – claiming to join the movement. They expect donation and time, because with donation and time, a real difference is possible. Since, as a college student, I don’t have two pennies to rub together, I have taken advantage of my Facebook and Twitter page. These two people have really moved me to want to help – however, I’m not exactly in the position to contribute money. For the more established population, donate when you can, share Half the Sky with colleagues, and spread the word. Two people can’t make a change, but the world can. Helping Kristof and WuDunn get the word out is the first step to helping these women.

John Lennon’s song “Woman,” though written as a romantic testimony to one woman, captures something of the emotional heart of Half the Sky:

Woman, I can hardly express
My mixed emotions and my thoughtlessness
After all, I'm forever in your debt
And woman, I will try to express my inner feelings and thankfulness
For showing me the meaning of success

We should feel not only upset for how women fare around the world, but grateful for what they can contribute to the well being of the world, if only we globally treat them as fully equal members of the human race in every country. Our nation is aware of women’s potential. Our nation is aware of women’s rights. Our nation is aware of female injustice in developing countries. And, our nation needs to be nudged to do more – we can socially, politically, intellectually, and economically afford it. Nicholas Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn have devoted much of their time to righting this wrong. They have been able to bring momentous awareness to an urgent issue. Now it is up to us to (1) donate when possible, (2) advocate for more government aid, and (3) take advantage of social media outlets as a way to promote gender equality. Nicholas Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn have proven to be extraordinary individuals. In a society where it is so easy to sit back, they did more – now it’s our turn.

References Other Than Internet

Kristof, Nicholas, and Sheryl WuDunn. Half the Sky: Turning Oppression Into Opportunity for Women Worldwide. Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group, 2009. Print.

Commonweal: Theology as Survival

This week I read a Commonweal interview with a homosexual theologian, Father James Alison. Journalist Brett Salkeld comments that since he himself is "sympathetic to the plight of gay Catholics, but unconvinced by arguments of change in church teaching on related questions," it was an interesting combination of interviewer and interviewee. Father Alison admits that, in the 1970's, he came close to committing suicide. He understands that he took a peculiar position by joining a religious order as a gay man, but maintains that the love of an old religious classmate combined with the intercession of Padre Pio left him with a sense of grace that "blew him into the Church."


Homosexuality in the Catholic Church often defeats gay men and women, and for Father Alison, "theology was a matter of survival." Salkeld decided to title the article "Theology as Survival." I like that the interview was titled this because these words coming out of a person in a religious order definitely resonate. Why, if he always struggled with theology, did Father Alison devote his life to it? Apparently, the teachings of René Girard has given Father Alison an intrinsic passion regarding the "intelligence of faith." Girard's beliefs have allowed Alison to come to an understanding about Jesus' death as a form of salvation without putting vengeance on Christ. He devotes his spirituality to God, Salvation, and Scripture. Further, he is hopeful that Pope Benedict is leaning towards change in the area of homosexuality. 


When asked if there was anything that goes on in the Catholic Church that drived Father Alison crazy, he responded,  "The silence of those in positions of influence in the church who know, or have a strong suspicion, that being gay is a nonpathological minority variant in the human condition drives me crazy, far crazier than I am driven by any loud-mouthed purveyor of hateful nonsense." Father Alison does not indulge his thoughts into the question, how did being gay "happen," rather he focuses on how he can enrich his life at the point where he is. 


The interview that Brett Salkeld had with Father Alison is jam packed and brings a new insight on homosexuality in the Catholic Church. I found it very interesting to have a homosexual of religious order comment on one of the most controversial deliberations in today's society. Since it was an online article, I was able to read the comments. One person commented, " Mr. Alison's situation is sad, but the problem is with him, not the church.  I pray for his conversion and healing." As a young adult struggling with my faith, comments like these make me want to run away from the Church. This narrow minded view shows hate and rejection - exactly the opposite of how I was raised to act. However, it is refreshing when people bite back at this nonsense. Another commenter rebutted with: "How can you say this? The problem has often been with the church and the church has reviewed and changed over the centuries its teaching on usury, slavery, evolution and medicine (to name just a few). Why has there not been a similar advance in understanding of human sexuality?" I always opt to read online articles when possible so I can read the comments. Personally, I respect Father Alison for accepting these ignorant views in exchange for being a man of religious order. It takes an exceptional person to do this.






Theology as Survival

Second Half Brainstorming

This semester I am doing an independent study on extramarital relationships. Specifically, heterosexual and homosexual couples- looking at both the husband and the wife. This is the second semester that I have been working on the topic of infidelity. Why does it happen? Who does it the most? Why is the divorce rate so high? I was thinking that maybe I can look into some of these questions for my WWPP essay. I will be able to use the statistics from my study which will add a nice factor, as well as use the internet. There is a wealth of information on cheating. It has become an increasingly serious problem in society. I plan on being a family clinical therapist. So, I would love to write about something that is prevalent to my career choice.

Midterm Paper

I am an American female.  I go to college - I have aspirations to a professional career, as well as reasonable prospects for a secure future. My status as an equal citizen is protected legally and, as a person, I am valued. I do not count myself as being disadvantaged by the chance of being born a woman. Not so, however, for millions of women in countries and cultures which exploit and abuse women, condone rape and violence against them, and deny them basic civil rights.  The oppression of women around the world is precisely the subject tackled in the seminal book by Nicholas Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn, Half the Sky.  The title suggests the book’s thesis. This phrase comes from the Chinese proverb that women hold up “half the sky”- implying that we should remember women are half of our population and that empowering them releases tremendous untapped resources for economic and social progress. 

 In 1990, soon after covering news on the Tiananmen Square protests, spouses Nicholas Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn learned that 39,000 baby girls are killed in China each year because they are denied the same amount of food and healthcare as their male counterparts. A number of years later, while writing a piece on child prostitution, Nicholas Kristof spoke to two Cambodian girls who were sold into brothels (one by her stepfather, the other kidnapped). Their mothers had come and gone, having no money to buy them back. They were sexually coerced and beaten daily.  Kristof was dismayed to see that, even as young as they were, there was no hope in their eyes. He was deeply moved and, with his wife, resolved to bring attention to the oppression of women around the world.  Sheryl WuDunn, a Pulitzer Prize winning journalist herself, was eager to begin writing. She remembered the stories of her own Chinese Grandmother, whose feet were bound to make them small.  Their book, published in 2009, a national best seller, describes instances of sex trafficking, gender based violence, maternal morbidity, honor killings and mass rape- all loosely bound by the central theme of gender inequality. While Nicholas Kristof did not have the same sense of relatability that his wife did, he stood by her in the Half the Sky process, obligated to heighten awareness. Little did either writer know, they would do much more than gain a response – they would become social entrepreneurs.

In the past three years this book has gained incredible momentum. Like slavery and totalitarianism were once a core human rights issue in the past, the authors argue that the oppression of women today is a moral wrong and demands the world’s attention.

Melinda Gates states, “The stories that Kristof and WuDunn share are as powerful as they are heartbreaking.” (Melinda Gates on Half the Sky) The authors describe the scope of the problem as follows: “More girls were killed in the last 50 years, precisely because they were girls, than men killed in all the wars in the 20th century. More girls are killed in this routine gendercide in any one decade than people were slaughtered in all the genocides of the 20th century.” (Half the Sky) An addition to this already loaded statement is the point that if we empower these women, not only will they be valued, they are likely to go on and create businesses. Thus, the book is subtitled, “Turning Oppression Into Opportunity.”

            Kristof and WuDunn proved their brilliant insight through Half the Sky. They explain that when a woman is given the chance to be educated, and goes on to get a loan, research shows that that investment will produce higher returns than the same investment with her male counterpart. With scarce resources, females invest money more wisely than men.  Moreover, in a world where billions are being spent on security, experts say the best way to fight terrorism is to invest in girls (Sheryl WuDunn on Colbert)

 The writers were able to conquer the feat of both bringing awareness to a moral issue and providing an empirical agenda that will be universally beneficial.

It is particularly fitting that this story of female oppression is told by the first married couple to win the Pulitzer Prize. Both Kristof and WuDunn are public intellectuals who write about economic and social issues. Nicholas Kristof is an Op-Ed writer who focuses on societal injustices. Kristof’s intellectual influence is Victor Zorza, the author of The Guardian. Zorza has inspired Kristof with his anecdotal writing- the writing style used in Half the Sky. Sheryl Wudunn writes about female entrepreneurs and was a journalist for the New York Times. Her contribution to the partnership was to bear the facts and figures, the statistics and a sense of relatability, being a third generation Chinese American female. Kristof at his best is a storyteller. His individual vignettes of oppressed woman, and stories of triumph over adversity bring an empathetic tone to Half the Sky.  He exposes the issues through individual narratives. WuDunn’s hefty economic background introduces hopeful statistics suggesting that we can turn both the lives of women and the global economy around. The ultimately positive tone of the book is no accident.  After doing research, Nicholas Kristof said, “It turns out that empathy and moral judgments are an emotional process, not a rational one. They're based on storytelling, and people want to be a part of something positive, not something depressing and failed.” (Interview with Kristof and WuDunn on Book) It’s amusing really - the couple is so articulate that even gaining the correct emotion from the public was watchfully thought out. The book seems to be as much an expose of oppression in the developing world as it is a call to action. Nicholas Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn proudly and boldly claim that change is not only a moral requirement, it is an economic one. They have made it their obligation to use Half the Sky as a tycoon for this message.

            As public intellectuals, Nicholas Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn grasp the reader’s attention with staggering statistics of oppression and boldly equate female injustice to slavery and totalitarianism. While they speak of creating female economic entrepreneurs, they’ve become social entrepreneurs; and they tell us how we can invest in their enterprise. They call upon us to become involved, going so far as to provide links to donation sites, and they have created their own website titled: http://www.halftheskymovement.org/.  

However, asking Americans to help these invisible women overseas has brought some controversy, discounting all of the blatant appreciation. The oppressed women are mostly spiritual people. To ask an American to help someone with a completely different way of life is easier said than done. Of course we would assume anyone with a heart would help a struggling person regardless of faith, however the rift between the secular and spiritual is massive. Kristof and WuDunn claim that if the two can come together and fight against oppression, we would be “emulating an era when liberal deists and conservative evangelicals joined forces to overthrow slavery.” (Changing Lives, NY Times Article) While some think the couple’s correlation between slavery and women’s injustice is bold, Kristof and WuDunn explain that the parallelism is a lens to how imperative attention is needed.

Another problem with Kristof and WuDunn is that they do not equally represent each oppressed country. Chapter Six of Half the Sky is titled: “Is Islam Misogynistic.” The spouses go into detail about how Islamic females have their genitals mutilated. While this is horrid, critics feel like other nations dealing with oppression are not spoken of. Saudi Arabia’s abuse of female workers has been said to be “slave-like.” Kristof and WuDunn claim that they don’t mention this cruelty “Because ultraconservative Saudi Arabia has outlawed slaves, the Koran must be open to progressive interpretations on other human rights issues, like women’s equality.” (Changing Lives, NY Times Article) If the Saudi Arabian government have outlawed slaves, but still treat their women as slaves, they should be exposed. The Middle East has caused the most friction with Kristof and WuDunn as intellectuals on oppressed women.

Empowering and educating women does not just benefit the oppresses life. As public intellectuals, Nicholas Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn have been able to prove that it is universally beneficial. They have craftily forged a thesis of oppressed women and the economy. Kristof and WuDunn will not be satisfied with Americans putting on a T-shirt reading “Women’s Equality” - claiming to join the movement. They expect donation and time, because with donation and time, a real difference is possible.

A great American parallelism to Half the Sky’s message is John Lennon’s “Something You Should Know:”

Woman, I can hardly express
My mixed emotions and my thoughtlessness
After all, I'm forever in your debt
And woman, I will try to express my inner feelings and thankfulness
For showing me the meaning of success

Our nation is aware of women’s potential. Our nation is aware of women’s rights. Our nation is aware of female injustice in developing countries. So, why is our nation absent in righting this wrong? Nicholas Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn are powerful writers alone. However, as a team, they have been able to bring momentous awareness to a biting issue, as well as find a practical solution.

Interview Link for WuDunn and Kristof

Kristof and WuDunn Interview

This is a great link of an interview with Nicholas Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn. It really grasps what they are trying to accomplish as public intellectuals. Enjoy!